"In the heyday of cocktail parties, it was no secret that guests who went after the munchies could skip dinner. There was always a soft murmur going on, with one half of a couple telling the other half not to expect a meal at home after the party. To avoid excessive lingering, the closing hour not a standard feature of other invitations was, as you note, stated explicitly."
"We have come to enjoy this type of socializing, and have extended similar invitations. I would like Miss Manners to clarify the proper amount of time these get-togethers should last. I have always assumed an hour, or 90 minutes at most. However, as hosts, we have had people stay beyond that, and as guests, we have been urged to remain longer, as well."
"Ninety minutes to two hours, the expected time to linger at a cocktail party, is also reasonable for just drinks. In any case, one should not stay beyond the common dinner hour of 7 p.m., even if urged otherwise unless it is in the form of, Let's all go somewhere for dinner. All but the terminally obtuse should note that when food and drinks are no longer being offered, it is time to go."
Early-evening invitations for drinks should preserve guests' dinner appetites by avoiding heavy hors d'oeuvres and offering only light snacks. Ninety minutes to two hours is a reasonable length for such gatherings. Guests should not stay beyond the common dinner hour of 7 p.m. unless the host explicitly suggests going out to dinner. When food and drinks are no longer being offered, that is the cue to depart. Hosts encountering persistent lingerers can politely create a closing signal by standing while speaking to them, prompting them to stand as well. Hosts may then thank guests for coming.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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