"Your duty to intervene increases with the value of the object and the likelihood it will be purloined. You would presumably not be asking if it were a question of, Mister, hands off that baby. Or Get your own can of peas this one is taken. The case you describe may exceed the normal deference shown to the foolishly risk-tolerant."
"Absent a robbery in progress, however, speaking still requires an apologetic tone: Excuse me, forgive me for saying anything, but there have been some recent thefts of unattended items and you might want to keep an eye on your purse. You will forgive Miss Manners the invention of these recent robberies, but it is necessary: Sharing information is helpful, while telling someone how to behave is rude. Combined with not intervening too often, this will minimize the number of rude responses."
Duty to intervene rises with the value of the unattended item and the likelihood it will be stolen. Ordinary deference is appropriate for small risks, but higher-risk situations may justify speaking up. Approach with an apologetic tone and offer information about recent thefts rather than issuing behavior instructions. A suggested phrasing provides a gentle warning while minimizing offense. Limit interventions to avoid frequent intrusions, since occasional warnings reduce overall rudeness. Expect startled or defensive reactions, such as clutching the item, when a stranger points out a potential risk.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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