"Sometimes humor can be the tie that binds-or the one that cuts. In some friendships, this shows up in a "frenemy"-someone who calls themselves a friend, but whose behavior and humor undermine you."
"The authors (Altmann & Sauls, 2025) focused on measuring the two main categories of narcissism, grandiose and vulnerable, with uses of adaptive versus maladaptive humor in friendships."
"both types have a sense of entitlement and grandiosity yet grandiose types tend to have more superiority, manipulation, and exploitation, while vulnerable types are often more defensive, hypersensitive, insecure, dependent, and marked by swings from shame to grandiosity."
"Adaptive versus maladaptive humor is a lot like it might sound, yet in my work, it can be super difficult to detect in social settings when everyone is laughing"
Humor can strengthen friendships or harm them, depending on how it is used. Some people present as friends while using behavior and humor to undermine others. Research examined how humor functions in friendships when narcissism is present, focusing on grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. Grandiose narcissism is linked to superiority, manipulation, and exploitation, and it aligns with devaluing others to maintain status. Vulnerable narcissism is linked to defensiveness, hypersensitivity, insecurity, dependence, and shifts between shame and grandiosity, and it aligns with self-deprecating humor. Adaptive humor supports healthier social connection, while maladaptive humor supports harmful interaction, though distinguishing them can be difficult in real time.
Read at Psychology Today
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