The article recounts the author's journey with chronic pain, particularly focusing on a persistent headache that began in university. Despite visiting a doctor who described the pain as tension headaches, the author's perceptions differed from the typical symptoms. This led to feelings of fear and anxiety about their health, leading into a broader reflection on personal interpretations of pain and illness, alongside insights into their interactions with healthcare providers and the evolution of those experiences.
I had theories, of course. Looking back, these tended to change quite frequently, and yet the fear was always the same: in short, that I was dying, that I had some dreadful and no doubt painful disease.
After about a month, I visited the doctor. She had an earnest, warbling, confident way of speaking, which, in spite of her evident commitment to the tenets of mainstream medicine, gave her the air of an alternative healer.
Yes, she said, nodding meaningfully. Every person experiences tension differently. The doctor asked me what medication I'd been using to manage the pain. I was thrown by this question.
In the case of this headache, however, my attitude was edging closer to that of Franz Kafka. A century earlier, the writer told his fiancée that he never took medication.
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