"My husband and I have just built our dream house. After a year of planning and months of building, the builders have left and we can finally live there. The work was incredibly stressful, we spent a lot more than planned, and it triggered an anxiety disorder that I'm now struggling with. The building work is ostensibly over, but there's still work to do and money to spend to make the house fully a home, and I'm exhausted and depressed by that."
"Although we have an impressive house, we are also financially more stretched, which plays on my mind. But mostly it's the feeling of the house I don't like its vibe. I don't feel at home here. My husband is much more positive about the house, while recognising that we both found the experience stressful. He can sense something is wrong for me, but I don't know if I should tell him the truth, which is that I fantasise about selling it and feeling free."
"Sometimes we put our feelings on hold, thinking they will get better when XYZ happens: everything will be OK when I get a new kitchen/car/shoes or even big things like when I get married or have a child. Then the thing happens and we are still left with the feelings, plus the realisation that the solution hasn't helped. I wonder what the building work stopped you thinking about?"
Building the dream house involved long planning and months of construction, leading to stress, cost overruns, and a triggered anxiety disorder. The physical work is largely finished but additional tasks and expenses remain, causing exhaustion, depression, and a sense that the home lacks a comforting vibe. Financial stretch compounds worry. A partner views the outcome more positively, while doubts about revealing desires to sell or racing to make the house feel like home create guilt and fear of driving the relationship apart. The pattern of postponing feelings for external milestones leaves persistent emotional dissatisfaction.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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