The article recounts a humorous yet poignant moment from the author's youth in New York where feelings of embarrassment and sexual exploration intersect. After a mishap with his sound cues during a comedy rehearsal, the author, grappling with being closeted and sensitive about his identity as a gay man, resorts to drinking and then explores the idea of prostate stimulation as a form of self-comfort. Using a cucumber for this exploration symbolizes a humorous attempt to navigate feelings of shame and pleasure amidst a backdrop of confusion and discovery.
"What could I do to feel better? I'd recently found out about prostate stimulation... I'd never tried it. I didn't have a penis on hand to help me out, so I went for the next best thing: a penis-shaped salad topping."
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