"My 9-year-old doesn't have a phone, but some of her friends do. In the past, my daughter gave her friends my number, and they passed it along to their parents for arranging play dates. This worked great and gave me a way to meet other parents. Recently, however, my daughter gave one of her friends my number, and that kid now occasionally texts me directly to ask about playdates. Which is totally fine!"
"I've only met this other kid's mom once for five minutes at school pickup, and it occurred to me that to an outsider, texts between an adult and a kid might seem potentially nefarious (though all the texts are just, "Can Sonia play this weekend?"). I would definitely not be OK with my daughter texting some other parent I didn't know well. But I also am not giving my kid a phone anytime soon, and this other family clearly has different rules, which I'm not trying to judge."
A parent reports that her 9-year-old, who does not have a phone, gave the parent's number to friends, and one friend's child now occasionally texts the parent to arrange playdates. The parent is comfortable with the messages' content but worries that texts between an adult and a child could appear suspicious to others. The parent is not ready to give her child a phone and notes language and cultural differences that make discussing texting protocol with the other family difficult. The parent has been replying minimally or avoiding replies while seeking guidance on appropriate boundaries and norms. There are no set rules for how tween social coordination should shift without landlines.
Read at Slate Magazine
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