"You can explain to your son how marriage works: People choose to partner because they are happy together, but if they find that they aren't happy together anymore, they can decide to break up. As unfair as this is to you, your son is a bit young to hear details that clearly identify the seriousness of his father's betrayal, but you can share that there were problems between you two and that you decided you would be happier as his co-parent than his wife."
"You can be honest about this being a difficult and sad process for you, while emphasizing that what's most important is that your son understands that both his parents love him. It's OK to say, "I'm not in love with Daddy anymore," but your kids don't need to hear that you hate him. As tempting as it may be to point a finger at his father, your son will not benefit from learning this information at this young age."
"He just needs the main ideas: "We will always be there for you," "We understand this is challenging for you," and "You'll always have both of us." As your children get older, you can decide when to share more with them based on their maturity and understanding of adult relationships."
A child can be told that people choose to be partners when they are happy together, but they may decide to break up when they are no longer happy. The child is too young for details that clearly identify betrayal, so the explanation should focus on general problems between parents and the decision to be happier as co-parents. Honesty can include acknowledging sadness and difficulty while emphasizing that both parents love the child. The child can hear that the parents are not in love anymore, but should not be told that one parent is hated or blamed. The key messages are that both parents will always be there and the child will always have both of them, with more information shared later based on maturity.
#parenting-advice #divorce-and-separation #age-appropriate-communication #co-parenting #child-emotional-support
Read at Slate Magazine
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