"One afternoon, when my daughter was very ill, I met a generous young woman recovering from anorexia. As we parted, I asked her, "What's the one most important thing I should focus on? The one thing that will make the biggest difference to my child?" She didn't hesitate. "Love her at all times. Even when she's down. Even when she's at her worst." That stayed with me."
"Loving someone when they're at their worst is the essence of unconditional love. But when my little girl developed anorexia-a life‑threatening illness that drastically alters our children-I found myself wrestling with two uncomfortable questions. Question one: Is it healthy for love to be one‑sided? With an eating disorder where a child's nervous system is in overwhelm, it's common for parents to receive hate. Is it wise -or even realistic-to respond with love?"
A recovering person's simple directive to love a child at all times, even when she is down or at her worst, became a central guide. Loving someone at their worst embodies unconditional love, yet severe conditions like anorexia raise pragmatic doubts about one‑sided love. Parents can experience hostility when a child's nervous system is overwhelmed, prompting questions about whether continued love enables harmful behavior. Caregivers frequently wrestle with the paradox of offering compassionate, persistent support while maintaining safety and appropriate boundaries for the child's wellbeing.
Read at Psychology Today
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