"I practice what I call breakup therapy - a short-term treatment I developed for couples who want to end their relationships without bitterness. The premise is counterintuitive: Instead of looking forward toward separate futures, we look backward at the relationship itself. It's structured to look at the beginning, middle and end of their time together with exercises that focus on both their gratitude as well as their resentment."
"The idea was born from my own bitter divorce. After my split, I was plagued by questions that repeated on an endless loop in my brain: "What was I thinking?"; "Why didn't I see that red flag?"; "What is wrong with me - I'm a therapist and I should have seen what was happening." Then, one day, my therapist asked me a different question: Who was I when I decided to marry? Suddenly, my internal feedback loop stopped."
A therapist developed breakup therapy as a short-term approach for couples who want to end relationships without bitterness. The method focuses backward on the relationship's beginning, middle, and end, using exercises that elicit gratitude and resentment. The process culminates with the couple jointly writing and signing a narrative that records what worked and what failed, helping resolve unanswered questions and prevent recriminations. The approach grew from the therapist's own bitter divorce and a pivotal question—Who was I when I decided to marry?—which redirected focus to identity and personal responsibility.
Read at HuffPost
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