"DEAR NEW FLAME: Something inside of you told you that this might be an awkward situation that's why you didn't tell your ex about your new love interest in the first place. Since you decided to stay in communication with your ex for all these years, it would have been kind to let her know that you are dating someone she knows. You should apologize to her."
"Speak to her privately and let her know that you had no intention of upsetting or unsettling her. You realize it would have been thoughtful for you to tell her about your new girlfriend, but it is important to you that you have the freedom to be with whoever you want as it should be for her, as well."
An individual dated an ex for three years and remained friends, sharing the same college friend group five years later. The individual began dating someone who attended their college and who knew the ex casually. The individual did not inform the ex and the ex learned about the new relationship at a birthday gathering, felt embarrassed, and left. The individual wonders whether disclosure to the ex was owed and how to set boundaries. The advice recommends apologizing, speaking privately, acknowledging that withholding the information caused hurt, and asserting the right to date freely while respecting the ex’s feelings.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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