"When we were young, poor, and renting, my husband was always a slob; he never picked up after himself, left his dirty and clean clothes together in a mountain on his side of the bed, would rather die than wash a dish, etc. His car was putrid. As a medium clean person (but not a neat freak), I was annoyed by the clutter and grossness."
"Ever since we bought our house and got a new shiny car, he's become fussy in a way that I find off-putting. He frets and fusses over microscopic dings in the bumper; can't get over the latest landscaper screwup; rushes to put a pad under the paper I'm writing on at our ancient, already scratched up table; leaps up and scolds me if I scoot a chair a few centimeters rather than pick it up."
I have been with my husband for almost 14 years and married for four. When we were younger he was a habitual slob who left clothes in a heap, avoided dishes, and kept a filthy car, so I took on nearly all cleaning and tidying tasks except his laundry. After buying a house and new car he became obsessively protective of possessions, fretting over tiny dings, landscaper mistakes, and minor table scratches, and scolding small movements. Despite this perfectionism about damage he still leaves laundry piles, crumbs, wrappers, and a messy office, and becomes defensive when confronted.
Read at Slate Magazine
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