"My mother was a narcissist who failed to do anything of note with her life but have me. As a result, my childhood was one abusive blur of competitions, lessons, and training for unachievable goals that my mother set. From sports to academics, I was OK, even good sometimes, but never great-and my mother never let me forget it. Not even for a moment. She expected me to thank her for giving me life and grovel at her feet for the privilege."
"This is a pretty huge lie. But it's one that I think you may be able to come back from. You didn't hide the truth for selfish reasons. You didn't do it to hide missteps of your own. You didn't manipulate your partner or conceal information that would change what it would be like to be married to you. Still, you do need to come clean. Go with an old-fashioned, "There's something I need to share with you. Can we talk?" introduction."
A person grew up with a narcissistic, demanding mother whose constant criticism and unrealistic expectations made childhood abusive. The person cut off contact in their mid-20s and told others the mother was dead to simplify life and avoid confrontation. Now in a serious relationship with a partner who has close, optimistic family ties, the person fears the lie will be discovered and needs guidance on confessing. The advice says the lie can be recovered from because it was not manipulative; the person should request a calm conversation, explain why they lied, and show empathy for the partner's reaction.
Read at Slate Magazine
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