Discovering a large dildo in a partner's drawer can provoke insecurities about personal adequacy. It's crucial to realize that this does not necessarily reflect feelings about the sexual relationship. Approaching the topic with an assumption of goodwill can ease interaction. The toy may serve various purposes, such as offering variety or acting as a solo sex life aid. Understanding this context can reduce unnecessary confrontation and promote clear communication between partners.
Your husband's sex toy is not necessarily a reflection of how he feels about sex with you, so the best way to approach this is to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Rarely are things as simple as, 'My husband doesn't satisfy me, so I'm going to buy a sex toy.' No matter how many inches it has, few would think of a piece of rigid silicone as an adequate replacement for the connection and intimacy that sex can facilitate.
Maybe your husband simply wants variety: Six inches on Wednesday, 12 on Thursday. How different is that from having beef stroganoff on Tuesday and pizza on Friday?
Just as it would be overreach to try to legislate what kind of porn he watches on his own time, so would be trying to dissuade him from having a solo sex life.
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