"I'd suggest shifting your focus when you listen. Instead of tuning into the specifics (which you find boring), listen for the emotions underneath."
"Masking is exhausting, and venting is part of how she decompresses."
"She probably cares less that you remember the details and more that you're tuned in to how she feels."
"Matching her emotional energy, even in small ways, can make her feel seen and understood."
Many professionals, especially women, adopt workplace masks—peacekeeper, problem-solver—and suppress emotions throughout the day. Returning home often involves unmasking through venting as a way to decompress. Partners who focus on technical specifics risk missing the speaker's need for emotional attunement. Shifting attention from facts to feelings—identifying frustration, annoyance, amusement—signals care more than remembering details. Mirroring or matching emotional energy in small ways helps the speaker feel seen and understood. Steering conversations toward emotions can deepen connection and encourage continued sharing of both practical and personal work experiences.
Read at Slate Magazine
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