"You mention the eyebolt in passing, but it is at the root of the problem. Too many homeowners, if asked why they did not approach a neighbor about a planned improvement, exaggerate reasonable amounts of selfishness and fear into worst-case scenarios. It's really not up to them what color curtains I have becomes I have an absolute right to do what I want with my house, while I'd rather not be yelled at by someone I barely know becomes What if they have a gun?"
"But the link between not talking to the neighbors and the breakdown in civility is cause and effect. Why be considerate of someone you barely know? Miss Manners' solution would be to find an excuse to do one or two things that require minimal effort, but are neighborly, such as turning over mail meant for them, but misdelivered to you, in person rather than throwing it at the window as you leave the driveway."
Neighbors cut ivy and tossed pruned vines over a shared wall into another yard and installed an eyebolt in a shared block wall without informing others. Homeowners increasingly avoid asking neighbors about planned improvements because they inflate reasonable concerns into worst-case fears, eroding civility. The lack of communication leads to selfish, inconsiderate actions and reciprocal indifference. Simple, low-effort neighborly gestures can rebuild goodwill and encourage consideration, such as returning misdelivered mail in person instead of leaving it at a window. Unexpected acts of courtesy can prompt neighbors to think twice before taking inconsiderate actions.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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