"She has always been caring and loving, but can be selfish, kind but manipulative at times, fun but overbearing with me in particular (she acts as my big sis protector and supporter, which I value so much). My mother and I never hold her accountable. My mother has always been too scared to say anything to my sister, as she can snap or say quick, cruel things if upset in the moment. My sister never admits when she's wrong."
"He is socially awkward, and we are from different cultures. In his culture, they address issues straight up. In mine, you pretend it's fine and carry on. He doesn't like her calling in unannounced, but is OK with another sister doing so. He's felt anxious when she's stayed in the past, and after she was disrespectful in overstaying an extra night after I had our daughter, he had had enough."
A 40-year-old woman moved away, built a household with a partner and toddler, and remains close to her 50-year-old sister who visits twice yearly. The sister is caring but sometimes selfish, chatty, manipulative, and prone to overstaying visits and making cruel remarks when upset. The partner, socially awkward and from a culture that favors direct confrontation, found these visits anxiety-inducing and barred both sister and mother from visiting during a period abroad. He now refuses to allow the sister to stay, deepening estrangement. The woman feels torn between loyalty to family and protecting her household's stability and child's wellbeing.
Read at Slate Magazine
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