SAVAGE LOVE: Quickies
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SAVAGE LOVE: Quickies
"I'm an 81-year-old heterosexual woman whose husband died last May. I have found that my 56-year-old gardener of fifteen years can make me sexually happy. But now after four months he says he's not respecting his wife by having sex with me. He relates this to going to a Catholic priest for confession. He seems to enjoy our sex. What should I tell him? "You're fired." P.S. Kidding, kidding - don't fire your gardener. Tell him you're grateful for the sexual happiness,"
"the fact that he isn't asking you to pick up his dry cleaning (just this once) or peg his ass (on the regular) could be seen as a green flag, e.g. he doesn't expect you to do girlfriend grunt work before you're BF/GF official. Same goes for saying "I love you": if you're still in the early stages, he may be feeling it, he may be thinking about saying it, but waiting until he's sure before he says it? Another green flag..."
An 81-year-old widow experienced sexual happiness with her 56-year-old gardener, who later stopped after feeling guilty about disrespecting his wife following a confession to a Catholic priest. The recommended response is to express gratitude for the sexual happiness, avoid pressuring him, respect his discomfort, and reward him. A partner who never asks for anything or says "I love you" can be a green flag in early-stage relationships because it suggests realistic expectations and caution about saying love; however, after a year of no requests, offers, or expressions of love, the situation becomes a red flag. Sexual positions during pregnancy vary and depend on individual comfort and anatomy.
Read at Portland Mercury
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