"Divorce doesn't have to be war; however, it often becomes one. Some even call it "tribal warfare," when family members align with each parent and judge, blame, and shame the other parent. Minor and adult children may become caught in this painful dynamic and lose contact with grandparents, cousins, uncles, and aunts. Sometimes the children of the marriage refuse to see one or both parents. Estrangement can permeate the family system. Such estrangement is costly for children and their parents emotionally, mentally, and physically."
"Dustin: I'm so tired of being sad and angry at my dad for the pain he's caused me. I feel so drained. You've helped me learn what I need to do to move through it. I get what grieving is and why I needed to do it. I've been doing the grief work about my pain and losses from my parents' divorce. It's also helped me that I got my wish."
Gray divorce refers to couples aged 50 and older ending their marriage. The divorce rate for this group has been the fastest growing in the U.S., doubling between 1990 and 2010 and projected to rise further. Divorce often becomes high-conflict, leading to 'tribal warfare' where family members align with one parent and judge, blame, and shame the other. Minor and adult children can become caught in this dynamic and lose contact with extended family, causing emotional, mental, and physical costs. Grieving and forgiveness practices support healing; forgiveness serves personal healing rather than excusing hurtful actions. Therapy and deliberate grief work can ease pain and help rebuild wounded relationships.
Read at Psychology Today
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