"In my 20s, I was self-conscious about my body and inexperienced, but by my 30s I was much more confident in myself, my skills and my body. We've been in a long-distance relationship for the past year and a half, getting to know each other and building intimacy in bursts of a few weeks at a time, either on holiday or when he comes to visit me."
"I thought I had a high sex drive, but Theo's is higher. He gets hard very quickly, whereas I need a build-up. If I'm feeling bloated, anxious or low in confidence, I find it harder to get in the mood This summer, we lived together for three months and, apart from when I had thrush, had sex two or three times a week."
They reconnected after nine years when he replied to a holiday photo and they had passionate sex in Spain. They have maintained a year-and-a-half long-distance relationship, meeting in visits and building intimacy in bursts. Sexual dynamics include mismatched libidos: he becomes aroused quickly while she needs a slow build and is affected by bloating, anxiety, or low confidence. They lived together for three months and had sex two to three times weekly except when she had thrush. A recent job loss lowered her self-esteem and hurt intimacy. An abortion last year was difficult but deepened their bond and led to conversations about children and the future.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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