The article reflects on the author's journey of self-deportation from the US after living undocumented for two decades. Reliving the experience in Rome during a rainy evening, the author realizes how travel has brought back a sense of identity and connection to the world. It recounts the emotional toll of living in fear and invisibility and illustrates how stepping outside of that hidden existence embraces the fullness of life and self. The contrasts between past and present experiences highlight the liberating power of travel and the human struggle for belonging.
The choice to leave America was driven by a desire to escape the anticipation of deportation, reclaiming a sense of self and belonging in a new world.
Self-deportation was an act of volition, a means to find freedom in travel and to recover a sense of reality that had been stifled in the shadows.
In moments of uncertainty, such as a stormy evening in Rome, there comes a clarity that allows for reflection on past struggles and newfound identities.
The feeling of invisibility in the US was overwhelming, tied closely to the experience of being undocumented, yet travel provided a profound sense of realness and existence.
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