The article discusses the author's struggles with being Autistic, focusing on the feelings of dread and discomfort experienced in social environments, especially school. The author describes how they learned to mask their neurodivergent behaviors to fit into societal expectations, resulting in feelings of disconnection from their true self. This adaptation took a toll on their mental well-being and sense of identity. They emphasize the difficulties faced in a world not designed for Autistic individuals, particularly within educational settings that rarely accommodate diverse needs.
I never made an active choice to change myself to fit the world around me; it was simply the price of existing in spaces outside my own home in Queensland, Australia.
I have spent my life learning to be as many different selves as the world demanded of me, long before I was old enough to realise what I was doing.
To be Autistic is to live in a world that was not built for you and which mandates your adaptation.
I discovered only two years ago that what I have practised since I was a child is called masking: an involuntary habit of suppressing and concealing neurodivergent behaviours.
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