#the-golden-bachelor

#the-golden-bachelor

Grab your snacks, get comfy and get ready for "The Golden Bachelor: Women Tell All!" Jesse Palmer introduces the ladies in attendance: Carla, Alexandra, Lisa, Monica P., Robin, Monica B., Terri, Andra, Roxanne, Amy, Carol, Gerri, Nicolle, Cheryl and Debbie. Jesse explains that Diane can't be with everyone because she's in Hawaii celebrating her son's wedding. That's a good reason!

Mel has Peg's, Cindy's, and Debbie's families to meet, and he wants us to know that they're all beautiful and smart and age-appropriate wife choices. Up first is Peg in Las Vegas! Mel says he likes Peg "no question" and he's smitten by her. They're going to hang out at Peg's firehouse. The desert air is making her hair reach new heights. Also, her daughter has incredible hair. What is this family eating? Are they on a strict diet of fatty tuna and salmon?

This season of The Golden Bachelor is shaping up to be the most anodyne viewing of the fall. It's just a soothing, hourlong watch that washes over you like the waves are washing over Cindy and Mel on the beach. Is anything interesting happening? No. Are there shapes and colors on the screen that are paired with sounds and music? Yes.

Wow, this season is FLYING by, huh? It's already surpassing any season of The Bachelor (and weirdly the most recent season of Project Runway)by delivering an elimination each episode. But I wish we had gotten a little more depth out of Mel. I'm over him being dragged over the coals for his comment on whatever sports podcast, and ready for him to open up emotionally. I want YEARNING, Mel. I want TEARS. I want shoes with a LEATHER UPPER. Time to step it up.