As a child, she learned to "manage" her mother's emotions by staying quiet, anticipating her needs, and acting to take care of those needs. Dishes were done, the kitchen floor swept, and dinner cleaned up before her mother had to mention them needing to be done. Now, in her relationship with her boyfriend, Jake, Maya finds herself falling into the same pattern-when he's stressed or distant, she becomes hypervigilant, scrambling to "fix" his mood.
Trauma is a devastating and all too common experience. It influences relationships, self-esteem, self-worth, physical health, mental health, and overall well-being, and chronic trauma can induce lifelong maladaptive patterns. What can make trauma even more devastating is when victims are retraumatized in some way, as it immediately launches them into their past, evoking feelings of powerlessness, grief, and pain. Retraumatization can feel as if the original traumatic experience is occurring all over again.