"Teens can be difficult-sullen, argumentative, impulsive, hormonal-and their prefrontal lobes (the rational brain) are not fully developed. Everyday life can be an emotional roller coaster that many parents barely manage to hang on to. Unlike the 5-year-old that you can pick up and put in their room, the 6-foot, 200-pound teen who refuses to move is immobile. And while the biggest dangers with 5-year-olds are likely to be crossing the street, now the risks are higher-car wrecks, addiction, pregnancy, violence-"
"It's easy for them to feel micromanaged, over-lectured, and over-advised. Because the over-controlled child will either become dependent and fearful or rebellious, your challenge is not to abdicate your power but shift from being the autocrat to a consultant. To do this effectively, be selective and clear. Decide on your bottom lines -what you're willing to go to the mat for: one or two things, not twenty."
Adolescents present heightened emotional volatility and incomplete prefrontal development, increasing risks like car accidents, addiction, pregnancy, and violence. Parents should adapt by choosing one or two nonnegotiable bottom lines focused on health and safety, while loosening control elsewhere. Avoid confusing means (activities) with ends (skills or values), and reward positive behavior rather than punish minor infractions. Shift from authoritarian to consultant: guide exploration within clear boundaries, set expectations about schoolwork and communication, and be selective about battles to prevent rebellion or dependency. Clear goals, consistent consequences, and emphasizing safety help manage adolescent impulsivity and preserve relationships.
Read at Psychology Today
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