The author reflects on her journey as a mother of three and her initial dreams of having a larger family. After a difficult third pregnancy, a doctor suggested not having more children, which devastated her. Despite this, she finds joy in her current family dynamics with her older children, appreciating the newfound freedom that comes with their independence. She reminisces about the baby phase with both sadness and nostalgia, yet embraces activities and time for herself that had been difficult to enjoy during the early parenting years.
Even though part of me loved being needed to literally keep a baby or toddler alive, it felt claustrophobic more often than not.
I look at my youngest, now 6, slightly grieved I'll never have a baby again. No more endless cuddles on my shoulder, new baby head smells, or tiny fingers gripping my own.
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