#family-dynamics

#family-dynamics

"What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~Don Miguel Ruiz For most of my life, I didn't fully understand what projection was. I just knew I kept becoming the problem. I was "too much." Too intense. Too emotional. Thought too deeply. Spoke too plainly.

Dear Reader, I grew up in a household full of love and care-but also of elephants in the living room and eggshells I had to walk around so as not to ruffle a single feather. My parents are extremely sensitive and horrible listeners, so you can imagine how I coped: I lied. A lot. I lied to get away with things, but mostly I lied so that I wouldn't upset anyone or get into trouble.

The family dynamics this season were interesting in that there were very few parents or families who were totally against any of the couples actually getting married. In fact, so many seemed excited and completely invested in the idea that I was actually feeling a little punked as I watched all the parents welcome their kids' brand-new fiancés, whom they'd met through the pods, with open arms.

Wreck can stand on its own, but chances are, you'll want to read both books. Wreck's cover, like Sandwich's, features a soft-focus photograph of an alluring porch-fronted all-American house that telegraphs that this novel is not about a real estate teardown. In fact, the title refers to Rocky's state after being knocked off-kilter by a serious health scare and a local train crash that hits too close to home.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my mother passed away some years ago, my brother and his wife placed a stuffed black cat toy in her casket. My mother had owned several black cats. Months later, I was opening a Christmas gift from my brother. It turned out to be a stuffed black cat. He said, Do you know where that came from? Of course I knew! My mouth dropped open. Miss Manners, was this absolutely the worst Christmas gift ever, or am I missing something?

Donovan sat on the couch across from me, his head in his hands. "I can't be a victim of abuse," he said slowly. "Why not?" I asked gently, hoping to provoke thought and reflection. "Because I am a man!" he said, head popping up. "And he never put his hands on me..." he followed up, reflecting on the unhealthy relationship with his partner that had brought him into therapy.

Christine Brown Woolley grew up in Utah with a dad and two moms, in a polygamist community called the Apostolic United Brethren. When she became an adult, she joined a polygamist marriage as a third wife, helped raise more than a dozen kids, and became co-star of the TLC reality show Sister Wives. Fast forward to 2025, and she has left her marriage and her polygamist faith.

At my 26th birthday my childhood best friend Corinne apparently hit it off with my 56-year-old, widowed dad. They enjoyed one another's company, grabbed coffee a few days later, and one thing led to another. Now they've been dating for six months, and their relationship has become serious enough that they've told my brother and me about it. On the one hand, I'm very happy that my lonely father has found someone he might love.

Throughout my engagement, people joked about how I'd lucked out in the mother-in-law department because my husband's mother was extremely chill and not obsessed with the idea of grandkids. My husband and I are dedicated to being child-free (he got the snip in college), and it was a relief to us both that his mother was fine with that. I never expected that the problem would be with my (younger) sisters-in-law!

As a wealth advisor, I've noticed that my clients often have two reactions to meetings with me. They come out relieved, and even say "That felt like therapy." Or, they emerge worried that they shared too much. Money is really hard to talk about. So is death. It's no wonder that planning for inheritance is fraught for many families. That's why I decided to become a certified financial therapist in addition to a wealth advisor.

I love my parents, but since they retired three years ago, it is as though their brains have drained out of their ears. I am not talking about their opinions on politics, but just basic common sense. I saw my parents actually ask grocery workers putting out fresh fried chicken if the birds were from last night, and get offended when told no and that it would be a health

After more than 30 years together, my now-ex told me he had a longstanding interest in another woman. He claimed he'd never cheated, but wanted my blessing to pursue her and stay married to me. He said I couldn't handle being single in my 50s. Well, I filed for divorce, and he pushed back. Our divorce was emotionally horrible, but I'm luckier than I could be. I'm a teacher, so I'm not rich, but I'll have a pension and health coverage.

Turned out his aunt was his actual birth mother, who had kids with his father too before he was born, but who had passed away in a house fire. The mother who raised him was completely sterile and, in fact, had a hysterectomy at a very young age. He was in complete shock, but said it made sense how close everyone was in the house, despite keeping all the adult stuff behind closed doors.

Let's get this out of the way: I'm not a mom. I've never been pregnant. I've never given birth. So no, I don't have any firsthand stories. But I'm the youngest of four daughters - and I've heard plenty. And honestly, our mom ruined us. She loved being pregnant. She raved about her glowing skin, thick hair, and strong nails.

1. What would you change, if anything, about our experience growing up? 2. What do you admire most about Mom and/or Dad? 3. In what ways did Mom or Dad let you down? 4. What's something you wish you could have told me when we were kids? Why didn't you tell me then? 5. How could I have been a better sibling to you when we were growing up? 6. What's your favorite childhood memory of us?

I have three daughters, and while I assumed most eldest daughters of the family are bred that way by Type-A moms, it seems my own eldest daughter - who is most definitely not being raised by a Type-A mom - has already taken on some of the classic characteristics. Like when she sees me attempting a DIY project and asks for my phone so she can prepare to dial 911.

Your mom just misses you and is dealing with her raw feelings. Tell her you miss her but you are working hard to build your life. Let her know you need her support more than her criticism. She raised you to be an independent person, and that's who you are becoming. Ask her to stop berating you. In turn, promise to call her more and visit whenever you can.

My in-laws are obscenely cheap and often keep food that has expired well beyond the "best by" date. I wouldn't care about this, except my kids go over there after school, and I never know how fresh the food they are being served is. We rely heavily on my in-laws to watch our kids during the school year while we are at work.

God designed marriage with order: the man as head and provider (Ephesians 5:23, 1 Timothy 5:8). When that structure is tampered with, especially when the wife becomes the primary breadwinner, it can cause tensions and unexpected outcomes. While this doesn't mean a wife cannot support her husband or even earn more, problems often arise when the man abandons his responsibility and depends solely on her.

For some men, anger is the emotion they are most familiar with. Ask one of these men how he feels and you are likely to get a puzzled expression, unless, of course, he is angry, in which case he is often quite clear about how he feels. Some families have adapted strategies over the years to either avoid or manage men's unacknowledged anger.

A good crime show should feel like the toxic, luxurious relief of a well-earned cigarette break. "God, I needed this," you sigh as you swill a nice, cold drink with your one hand while you exhale a nice cloud of smoke. Luckily, that's precisely how "Family Statements" feels, a solid-world building effort by Brad Ingelsby that's primarily interested in driving the plot forward. A truly expert crime serial knows how to build atmosphere, dangle new clues, and complicate our detective's troubled family life.

My 77-year-old mother wanted sympathy, the kind Mark believed was for the weak: offers of a cup of a tea, a hug. Long ago, decades even, she had learned not to seek it from him. With him, she was a trooper. At 62 she had retired and followed him up to a high desert mountain, 6,500ft (1,981 metres) in north-east California.

My dad can come in a room and be mad about something, but it doesn't change the dynamic or energy of the room. We don't internalize his feels. His feelings don't set the mood for of the room.

When (my children) were in middle school, they did say, 'Um, hey, can you, like, not talk about us? Because our friends, you know, their parents let them see things that you do and then, you know, they joke on us.'

Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon's brilliant nonfiction book about parenting children different from oneself, offers the useful distinction between vertical and horizontal identities. Vertical identities are inherited a family name, an ethnicity, or a nationality; horizontal identities are qualities that define us which parents may have nothing to do with, such as the kinship people with autism feel with one another, or being gay or deaf.

"A Family in Disguise starts with a situation where the transparent people, who just want to hide, have no choice but to greet their guests. The figures try to look ordinary, like any other happy family. They decorate, wear gorgeous clothes and stand side by side to greet the guests. At first glance, it seems like a lovely family but you cannot avoid feeling the somber atmosphere."

Awful? No. If you're worrying about betraying your cousin, she can't (and doesn't seem to want to) lay claim to every former paramour. But there are a lot of intertwined relationships here, so I would tread more carefully than if the handyman were just a casual acquaintance. First, there's the fact that he's working for you, specifically in your home. If you were to pursue a relationship with him, I'd first find another handyman and be clear with him about why.

Charles says he instantly felt a bond when I demanded to sit on his lap as a toddler. All I know is that he has been the only man my mother has brought home (besides my father) that I've liked and accepted. While there was no initial plan to stay in my life, life (as we know all too well) had other plans.