"He made a joke about me being a drama queen and gossiping too much. At first, it was funny, but then it felt like he was bringing up situations that I had spoken about with his girlfriend in confidence. Despite his dwelling on this untimely joke, my friend remained quiet, not even nudging her boyfriend to quit. I was ticked, so I asked him why he felt comfortable bringing all this up in front of a large group of people."
"Yes, you should speak to your friend. Tell her how hurt you were to hear her boyfriend spew confidences that you had shared with her. Explain that you were surprised when she didn't nudge him to stop but instead reprimanded you when you tried to get him to change the subject. Moving forward, don't tell her anything you don't want him to know. More important, understand that she is not going to have your back. It seems that relationship has changed now."
A woman's friend's boyfriend repeatedly joked about her being a drama queen and referenced matters she had shared privately with the friend. The friend remained silent and later defended her boyfriend when the woman confronted him, leaving the woman feeling deceived and hurt. The advised course is to speak directly to the friend, explain how the disclosures and lack of intervention caused pain, and set a clear boundary by not sharing anything she would not want the boyfriend to know. The woman should accept that the friend's loyalty in the relationship may have changed.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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