#boundaries

#boundaries

My neighbor is 80. She's known me since I was 13. Her husband died 10 or so years ago. She's my political opposite. All she does all day is stay inside her house (even when it's sunny) and watch TV news. I try to be nice to her because she's alone and probably depressed, but sometimes I want to curse her to high heaven. I borrowed $40 from her and told her I'd give it back the next day.

If you'd asked me what to do before you got frustrated with your sister and expressed it, I would have encouraged you to be a bit gentler with her. The commentary about insanity and moving on was unnecessary. She's obviously very hurt (making irrational demands, yes; but in pain, too) and didn't need to be told anything that would make her feel worse about herself.

I had a one-night stand with a guy recently, and while it was fun, he seems to think we are now in a relationship or at least will end up in one. He messages me a lot and found my social media and now likes all my posts and stories. I had said to him that I was happy being single and that I was only looking for fun, which he said was cool.

I was the one people turned to. And if they didn't turn to me, I turned to them. If someone was going through a hard time, I'd show up with soup, a handwritten card, or a call that stretched for hours. I'd intuit needs before they were spoken. And when people said things like "Wow! How do you even manage all this?" or "You're incredible," my heart swelled with pride. It felt good to be seen. It felt powerful to be needed.

I have been in recovery for alcohol addiction for almost 31 years. Needless to say, my life is wonderful and so good compared with those years when I was active in my addiction. Recently I was with someone who knew me before recovery. In a room with people who really didn't know me very well, she told the story about how I was drunk, in a blackout and stole something from someone.

At my 26th birthday my childhood best friend Corinne apparently hit it off with my 56-year-old, widowed dad. They enjoyed one another's company, grabbed coffee a few days later, and one thing led to another. Now they've been dating for six months, and their relationship has become serious enough that they've told my brother and me about it. On the one hand, I'm very happy that my lonely father has found someone he might love.

After returning home from a full day of working as a project manager at an event management company, I cooked dinner, got the kids bathed, folded laundry, and prepared for the next day. The night was punctuated with raised voices and tears from the kids and from me. Mine were shed after I escaped to the bathroom for two minutes of alone time.

Have you ever felt like your brain was one of those viral egg experiments, cracked open and sizzling on a bare sidewalk that was truly, much too hot? You may have been experiencing signs of burnout (and dehydration). As an introverted professional, I've been there as well, many times in my career. Over the years, I've developed healthy reflective coping methods to recharge my batteries and prevent (or at least combat) that intense feeling of overwhelm.

Lately, the meetings have shifted into more of a social gathering where the book barely gets mentioned. Instead, most of the night revolves around wine, snacks and catching up on everyone's personal drama. While I enjoy the company, I miss the actual book discussions that originally drew me to the group. I feel like the odd one out for wanting to stay on topic, and I worry that if I bring it up, I'll come across as uptight.

Now, my dad and "Britney" now have a son who is a little under a year old. He and Britney are forever after me to take him for the afternoon or even most of the day, supposedly so we can form a sibling bond. I suspect they are trying to use me as free child care and have steadfastly refused, which has angered them to no end.

I have completely lost it. Bruised, battered, beat, and busted down, I've created such a fortress around me that I don't even let kindness in, that is if I even see it at all. But when I do see it, you can be sure it feels odd, and I even shut myself off to it because I'm so numb to giving or receiving kindness.

We've known each other for a long time and never even flirted before this. I'd thought they were both straight, but there was touching and kissing in every combination that night, even if technically they only fucked me. We were all wasted and grieving, and it was a bad idea, but it was also very hot.

We mutually agreed that we value a strong connection that we want to bring to sexual encounters, which would ideally be repeat encounters even if it's just for casual sex.

But sometimes, communication between partners fails to achieve clarity and directness; sometimes it leans into passive-aggressive criticisms instead. We've all been there, and we have likely felt uncomfortable when someone lands a jab against their partner in our presence. The partner ends up feeling embarrassed and may struggle to reply, since they usually can't respond in kind without escalating the conflict in public.

By the time I pulled into the driveway, the only things on my mind were a hot shower and no fewer than 16 hours of sleep. But as soon as I opened the door, my three cats immediately surrounded me, taking on the role of a furry TSA team and inspecting all my bags thoroughly. They had been waiting expectantly, and despite my sheer exhaustion, they reminded me that dinner time doesn't wait, no matter how tired I am.