"There's a version of yourself that lives only in your own head, the one who is trying, who has good intentions, who means well even when she falls short. And then there's the version that other people carry around with them. Those two versions don't always match."
"I had asked them, a week earlier, what they would say at my funeral. Not as a morbid exercise, but as a way of understanding how I was actually showing up in their lives. Not how I hoped to show up. How I actually did."
"So one evening, before I could talk myself out of it, I sent the message to five friends. I kept it simple: 'If you had to speak at my funeral, what would you say? Be honest. I can handle it.' I told them to take their time."
A person asks five close friends to write what they would say at her funeral as a way to understand how she actually shows up in their lives, rather than how she hopes to. The request stems from a desire to bridge the gap between her internal self-image and external reality. After sending the messages, responses arrive over a week. Reading them slowly at her kitchen island, she discovers recurring themes in how friends perceive her, including that she makes them feel calm and provides support during difficult times. The exercise reveals surprising insights about the disconnect between intention and impact.
Read at Silicon Canals
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