First of all, let me put your mind at ease. Having this thought does not make you a villain. It makes you a long-term partnered adult with a pulse. Most people don't wake up one morning and think, "Ah yes, swinging - this will clearly solve everything." Curiosity like this usually shows up more quietly. It's often less about wanting other people and more about wanting something back: playfulness, aliveness, the feeling that sex is still a place of discovery.
Some of the most painful moments in relationships don't happen during overt conflict. They happen in its wake, or alongside it, or quietly-when both partners are trying to connect and still feel alone. These are the moments couples struggle to name. Nothing "bad" has happened, exactly, on the surface. No one has exploded or walked out. And, yet, something has gone wrong.
There is something strangely refreshing about the new year. Perhaps it's the sense that time coheres into a neat box, or the psychological appeal of getting a brand-new start. Culturally, humans have an intuitive understanding that the new year is a time for stock-taking. In matters of the heart, this seasonal pause offers an opportunity to recalibrate with a spirit of intentionality. Couples that succeed are the ones that regularly have honest conversations.
Being a couple is all about working together as a team, having each other's backs, and doing your best to help each other build the lives you want. But there will be clear snags and challenges-different priorities or perspectives, or feeling bothered by what your partner is doing. Just like building a house, you start with a solid foundation. Or think of it as a thermostat that helps maintain a steady emotional temperature.
Infertility magnifies every communication challenge a couple already carries, as stress can distort our perception. Even simple differences of opinion can suddenly feel like rejection or blame. Spare me the Pain Our minds are wired to spare us from pain and uncertainty. Thought fallacies are the brain's way of managing that fear. When we face something unpredictable or beyond our control, the mind scrambles to restore order where none exists.
You Are Normal You are normal if you are in a long-term relationship, and by that I mean you've been together more than a handful of years, and you struggle with some aspects of sensual desire and your sexual life. When I survey the couples who attend my masterclass, only 6 percent of them say they still have a great sex life. This is true of couples of all ages and stages.
Now she's feeling optimistic about her reconstruction and new breasts, and we've slowly started getting back into things. I feel horrible, but her breasts don't feel the same anymore, and it's really throwing me off during sex. Everything feels off in turn, and then I guilt myself for even caring about something as unimportant as a change in her body, after everything we've been through. How do I move past this and give her the enthusiasm she so deserves?
