"The urgency had passed. This request had a deadline, and I had missed it."
"I have spent decades dismantling these unhelpful narratives and, more recently, as a therapist, helping others do that too."
"But what if I don't have to say no upfront – what if it's enough to pause before I respond?"
"Now, since that night a few years ago, whenever someone asks me to do something, I tell them: Let me check and get back to you."
After receiving a last-minute request via email, the initial instinct was to respond with a yes. However, a series of domestic distractions led to forgetting the email entirely. Upon remembering it the next day, the realization struck that missing the deadline was okay. This experience prompted a change in behavior, prioritizing self-reflection before any commitment. The conditioned response to immediately agree had been deeply ingrained through upbringing. The practice of pausing before responding to requests resulted in a healthier personal boundary and an overall improvement in life satisfaction.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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