"When parents of adult children contact me for coaching, one thing they often say is something like, "Dr. Jeff, I feel taken advantage of. But then I feel guilty for feeling that way when I think about things I could have done better." These parents are like the walking wounded, who are also walking on eggshells. They have all sorts of conflicting thoughts, are in deep emotional pain, and just want to feel better."
"A recent post of mine, Overthinking Is Rewiring Parents to Fear Adult Children, seemed to be helpful to many readers. The main points are that overthinking leads parents to second-guess text messages, to soften their stated truth, or to avoid difficult conversations. Yet genuine connection arises when parents speak honestly and calmly, with mutual respect, rather than through fear. Self-trust restores openness, restores steadiness, strengthens boundaries, and reestablishes mutual respect."
Parents of adult children often feel taken advantage of and simultaneously guilty about past choices. Many experience conflicting thoughts, emotional pain, and fear that lead them to walk on eggshells. Overthinking frequently amplifies discomfort by causing parents to second-guess messages, soften truths, or avoid difficult conversations. Genuine connection requires calm, honest communication grounded in mutual respect rather than fear. Building self-trust supports openness, steadiness, and firmer boundaries, reducing a doormat mentality. Self-awareness helps parents assess their behaviors and shift toward clear parental roles that protect relational respect and emotional well-being.
Read at Psychology Today
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