"We happened to be at my in-laws' house on Christmas Eve, so we told them that night, and of course they were overjoyed. The next day, we expected the same reaction from my parents. Instead, the first words my Mom uttered — captured on video, no less — were, "You told [my in-laws] first, didn't you?" with a scathing look on her face. When I said "yes," she was devastated."
"I want to try to be as generous as possible to your parents, but I don't think that's going to take me very far. You mother's attempt to rank "how special" having a grandchild is to each future grandparent, according to her own particular algorithm, makes it seem like she's going out of her way to get her feelings hurt. If she wants to get hung up on the fact that her in-laws found out a full 24 hours before she did, rather than on the fact that you and your husband are going to be having a child, then that's her choice."
A couple told the husband's parents the pregnancy news while visiting them on Christmas Eve. The wife's mother responded with visible anger, asked if the in-laws were told first, then did not speak for two days and later said she felt hurt because the in-laws already had grandchildren. The mother argued the daughter should have been told first and insisted the moment would be more special for her. The advised perspective is that the mother's ranking of "specialness" reflects her choice to be hurt, and the couple is not obligated to apologize for the order of sharing the news.
Read at Slate Magazine
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