"Perfectionists fear failure more than anything else, even rejection, which is just an example of it. The questions 'Am I good? Am I smart? Am I successful? Am I attractive?' can be framed as 'Did I win at life?' or 'Am I not a loser?'"
"For perfectionists, who are prone to black-and-white thinking, success implies the belief in arrival, or the sense that one has rescued oneself from being a failure. The underlying belief is that there's a place one can get to wherein they never again have to worry about hating themselves."
"Engaging in black-and-white thinking, they may believe they're in the 'bad' group. Disqualifying the positives of their lives, they may minimize their successes, saying they don't matter because they didn't lead to some ultimate victory."
Perfectionists experience intense fear of failure, which they equate with their self-worth. This fear leads to obsessive thoughts and a chronic need for comparison, often exacerbated by social media. The belief that success can provide a permanent escape from self-hatred drives ambition. Perfectionists engage in black-and-white thinking, disqualifying their successes and focusing on perceived failures. This mindset can lead to a downward spiral of negative self-assessment and feelings of inadequacy.
Read at Psychology Today
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