When a church member wasted soup, it prompted a need for a more polite response. A correction should focus on the impact of her action, using a sad rather than angry tone. It’s important to highlight the needs of others, particularly those with allergies, rather than expressing frustration about the wasted effort. Consideration and empathy in manners facilitate positive changes in behavior, while an angry response could lead to defensiveness. The key is to choose politeness to encourage understanding rather than confrontation.
A polite correction would still have allowed you to make the woman understand that her thoughtlessness meant other people were going to go hungry.
It would have been done with a sad tone, not an angry one—using phrases of apology, not confrontation.
Emphasizing consideration for church members with allergies, not your own anger about wasting the time you put into preparation, is crucial.
Miss Manners asks you to consider: Do you want to be polite and change this person's behavior? Or do you want to be rude?
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