"The pain from those hurts slowly and eventually can settle into a false and not-so-subtle self-condemnation. One often-unseen consequence of being treated badly, over and over, is starting to subtly blame oneself, making statements to oneself such as: 'If only I had done___.'"
"Such persistent self-talk can lead to low self-esteem or a dislike of oneself. The sad part is that the victim of the other's injustice is now victimized again, this time by one's own negative, unproductive inner talk that is harmful to well-being."
"When people use this statement, they are basically implying that their behavior is responsible for the partner's behavior. Even if you were not meeting the partner's needs, or even if you were having a bad day and were feeling annoyed, this is not a fair assessment."
Deep emotional hurts can linger and lead to self-condemnation, causing individuals to blame themselves for their partner's unjust actions. This self-blame can manifest in harmful thoughts, such as believing one is not a good person. Over time, this negative self-talk can result in low self-esteem and further emotional distress. It is crucial to recognize and challenge these self-condemning thoughts to regain control and improve well-being.
Read at Psychology Today
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