Psychology
fromPsychology Today
13 hours agoThe Friction We Need for the Feeling We Want
Effort and overcoming challenges are essential for personal growth and happiness, despite the allure of a frictionless life through technology.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Impatience. I'm not very good at waiting around or dealing with things that aren't moving at a pace that I want them to. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Superiority. I shrink when I'm around people who act superior, whether it's due to authority or intellect.
According to my mum, my first word was look. My brother arrived 17 months after I was born, so most days Mum would have been pushing us around in a buggy, and I would be pointing at everything going, Look, look, look. What I was really saying was, Everyone, I'm here!
I regret many things. To not have learned English as a boy. I had the time to have at least studied English and I didn't do it. I deeply regret it. I experienced situations where I was with incredible and spectacular personalities to be able to talk and have a chat and you feel half ignorant.
Ever feel like you're playing a character in your own life? Like you're constantly adjusting your personality based on who's in the room, what they might think, or what seems "acceptable" at the moment? I spent years doing exactly that. Morphing into whatever version of myself I thought would get the most approval, the least conflict, or the best opportunities. It was exhausting, and worse, I started losing track of who I actually was beneath all those masks.
Our actions may be impeded by [others], but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. Ryan Holiday's bestselling The Obstacle Is the Way brought
Every season, the Next Big Idea Club editorial team reviews dozens of upcoming books to curate a selection of the most exciting, must-read nonfiction titles. We start with a broad pool of nominees from which we identify a small handful of finalists and, ultimately, an official season selection. Today, it's our pleasure to share our list of five finalists for Season 29! Without further ado, the new books we're most excited about right now are . . .
My resolution next year is to climb a tough peak in the Chamonix Valley in France. The 'why' is because it's been on my list for 15 years, and it's overdue. The 'how' is a detailed set of logistical, physical, mental, and family preparations.
I've never believed that change should be reserved for special days, but the New Year tends to carry a sense of promise. It often brings a surge of clarity, motivation, and hope that maybe things really could be different. And then, as January moves along, that initial energy fades. Responsibilities pile up. Our bandwidth shrinks. And before we know it, we're pulled back into the familiar current of obligations, far from the shore we were hoping to reach.
When I retired in 2016 after a successful career in international marketing, I began a personal development course that delved into identifying and pursuing my dreams. The dream I wanted fulfilled more than any of the others was to be married, to love and be loved in return. In the past, I'd dated different men, some for years, but never found my companion.
Only too often, our desire to grow is an indictment of who we are now. There can be an urgency and a striving to be a better person. It's even easier to take pride in an investment in personal improvement and refinement. The attachment to an individual upgrading carries a hope of finally attaining some measure of worth and the possibility of being lovable.
Relationships are so important for us to succeed in all capacities of life, from personal to academic to work. Schwartz et al. (2018) found that college students who were more socially engaged had an easier transition to college life and higher GPAs. Workplace friendships strengthen knowledge-sharing behavior (Wang et al., 2024). Meaningful engagement with others leads to more opportunities for success for us, and this is why we should be seeking multiple mentors to guide and support us in all of our goals.
Mick Hunt is living what many in Gen Z dream about: creating content for a living-and turning it into millions. His podcast, Mick Unplugged, which transforms lessons from his years in business into motivational storytelling, now generates more than $7 million annuallyand even rivals giants like Joe Rogan and Alex Cooper on Apple's charts. And while he admits starting a podcast is relatively easy, he stresses to Fortune that real success begins with identifying one's "Because"-the underlying purpose that fuels ambition.
It's really easy in an environment of uncertainty to spend a lot of time and energy thinking about things that are outside of their control, but that's going to be a real detractor to your personal well-being.
AI is reshaping the internet by diminishing traditional knowledge sources, altering content, and transforming the web from a comprehensive library into a more superficial digital theme park.
When you're thinking about how you want to rebrand yourself, it's not just about your aesthetic or your job title - it's about realigning your public image with who you are becoming professionally and personally.